‘One Weird Trick’ To Save The World or Money Can’t Buy Me Love Or Freedom Or Justice Or Dignity or Abnomics or Rise of the Wanna’B’s or Its Not Over Till The Fat Lady Figures It Out or Now Swallow


I remember a fat lady who must have weighed 20st at least, appearing on a consumer rights television program. She was complaining about diet pills she had bought through the internet. The problem was, the fat lady said, that although she had taken the pills for a couple of months she had so far failed to lose any weight. She had not changed her lifestyle or diet, the manufacturers advertisement assured here there was no need to, she said.

It is easy to laugh at the crass mindset of Doughnauts like these that gives rise to consumer ‘culture’. Anywhere you look you can find adverts telling you that you can get a ‘six pack’ in  two weeks (with no effort) or I made $600 dollars a day as a day trader (with no experience) blah, blah.

And I bet you think you are way too sophisticated to fall for any of this stuff. And maybe your are, for bottom end level schemes anyway.

But the idea that you can buy your way out of trouble is fundamental to consumerism and the Germanic cult of Capitalism. And in fact, it plays with many people who think they know better.

Buying your way out of trouble is the central idea behind Bitcoin’s ‘radical’ shtick. The idea is that if enough people buy into Bitcoin and all the other ‘wanna’B’s,  somehow this will transform the fundamental structure of the global economy and all the bankers and speculators will vanish in a puff of derivatives.

In case you might think this a tall order there are mysterious incantations and forces to be invoked, including the power of ‘blockchains’ and ‘encryption’ and ‘P2P’. It is these ‘scientific’ phenomena that will allow the bloated body of financialism to be transformed into the svelte, efficient new dream body of democratised money.

But democratised money goes one step further even than wonder slimming aids, because even slimming pills have to be swallowed, the manufacturer does not claim that you will be cured by simply ordering online, but this is exactly what is claimed by Bitcoin!

Bitcoin and the wanna’B’s represent  the ultimate fetishisation of ownership- in effect its final transformation into a religious cult. It is no longer even necessary to do anything with these uber-possessions. Simply buying them is enough to transform yourself and save the world.

Well, are you going to swallow it?

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